Christmas With the Coopers
by wolfofsheep
Summary: Penny and Sheldon stay at Los Robles for Christmas both trying to avoid family, except Sheldon's family comes to him.


_This is a story I had wrote for JLynnB (a wonderful writer) a long time ago. Thought I'd repost this baby. _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Penny started circling her apartment; throwing loose clothes into her basket. She needed to do her laundry badly. She had agreed to work all week, including Christmas Eve (which was tomorrow). As she propped the basket on her hip; she grabbed a few more shirts and bras that were laced over the couch then opened the door. She looked over at 4A, sadly. She hadn't seen the boys in two weeks. She broke up with Leonard in early November and hadn't seen any of the boys since. She missed them… She saw Bernie and Amy plenty, though. She sighed and wondered if Leonard and Sheldon went home for Christmas. She knew Bernadette and Howard were spending Christmas at Bernie's family's house and they took Howard's mom with them (she had made a sympathetic face for the short woman) and knew that Amy was spending her holiday with her mother and some very intriguing family members. Amy's second cousin was a mortician AND a plumber. Penny could only imagine the fun that family was.

As she turned to close her door, she jolts at the sound of heavy feet pounding up the stairs and a man breathing heavy. She turns her body towards the stairs and waits to see who was making all the noise. Penny's eyes open wide as Sheldon gallops to the top then bends over and puts his hands on his knees to breathe for a second. Penny smiles and is about to say hello, but Sheldon points at her then jogs towards her leaving her speechless. Sheldon smoothly opens her door, pushes her in by the base of her tail bone, and quickly closes the door as silently and swiftly as he could. Penny stutter steps from the momentum of the push and stares at the lanky man, still breathing pretty hard, as he looks into the peephole like hiding from snipers outside. He folds over and his back hits the door as he looks to be dodging the peephole and Penny just watches him with an amused face. She puts her basket down and whispers, "Ummm… care to catch me up, Moonpie?"

As if on cue, Penny heard Mary's voice in the hall and a few other people's voices she didn't recognize. Penny tiptoed to the peephole and gave a look before jumping back and staring at Sheldon with wide and irritated eyes then whispered harshly, "SHELDON! Why are you hiding from your mother?"

Sheldon carefully pushed off the door and leans his entire body towards her while he whispered back, "Not just my mother… my mother, my sister and her new boyfriend, George Junior and his group of hooligan children, and his very scary wife. I told my mother I was unable to come to this year's family gathering because of work and my Memaw informed me that my mother intended on 'Bringin' the Gatherin' to Me'. Unfortunately, Memaw cannot travel or I would've welcomed them with open arms."

Penny grinned at the man who was now standing beside her, staring at the door with his blue eyes almost illuminating, "So… you're just gonna let them bang on your door all Christmas?"

Sheldon sighed and shook his head, "Penny… my mother has a key to my apartment. She has decided that she would take my bed and that I would sleep on the couch. Missy and her wooly ogre are with George Junior and his monsters at the hotel near the university. To top off this wondrous infiltration, one of my brother's little mongrels wishes to stay with my mother."

"Wow Sheldon… and I thought I had family problems…" She patted him on the stomach with her knuckles before turning and bending over to grab her laundry basket, "Well, Sweetie, I have some laundry to do so…"

Sheldon looked horrified and he grabbed her basket in a mirrored form of how she was holding it. Penny felt a little jolt run up her arms at where Sheldon's fingers brushed against hers as he whispered, "Penny! You cannot do your laundry now… "

Penny jerked the basket out of his hands and tried her damnedest to push away the blush on her cheeks. She hadn't had any kind of sexual contact in over a month and her hormones were eager for any kind of attention... and the fact that her body was reacting to Sheldon (of all people). She cleared her throat and shook her head. She was just about to make an argument when there was a strong knock on her door. Sheldon yelped and ran into her bedroom. He looked like an ostrich running from a lion. Though Penny was still a little flustered, she had to laugh and the little coward.

With her laundry basket still in hand, she opened the door and was met with a very stern looking Mary Cooper. Penny was going to tell her that her son wasn't here, but Mary (obviously where Sheldon got his Vulcan hearing) tapped her foot and put her hands on her hips and the Texan accent rolled out, "Sheldon Lee Cooper… you get out here right now."

Penny stretched her mouth out and grits her teeth making an 'Uh Oh Sheldon Got Caught' face. Sheldon sadly walked out of her bedroom like a puppy being yelled at. His head was low as he walked out and Mary shook her head and pointed to his apartment, "Now you go in there and say hello to Alexis. She ain't got to see you since Georgie's and Kristen's wedding… Hello, Penny dear."

Penny gives a smile, "Hi."

Mary turned and watched Sheldon sadly slink back into his apartment before turning and staring back at Penny (making her stand up straight with a little bit of worry). With her hand on her hip she looked at Penny's basket then back to her eyes, "And why aren't you with your family for Christmas?"

Penny pursed her lips and looked down, "I needed some more shifts at work, so I offered to work the Christmas Eve and Christmas day. My family is quite big, so… they don't really miss me."

Mary's brows touched and she sighed, "Penny… no one should neglect their family for business… and don't think for a MOMENT that your family don't miss you. Christmas is the time of year where loved ones come together and sit around, drinkin' hot cocoa, and share their good and bad times. No one should ever spend it alone. It's settled, then… Penny dear, you'll be spendin' Christmas with us. Go get'er laundry done then come over to Shelly's." She smiles and turns to go back to 4A as Penny's mouth stays open. She was about to make an argument when Mary spoke while in mid stride, "No 'Buts' missy... one hour… here!" She turned before entering in the apartment, "Got me?"

Penny swallowed and gripped her laundry basket, "Ye… yes ma'am."

* * *

Penny sat on the washing machine as the last of her clothes dried. She went over the conversation she had had with her mother. She loved her mother… she really did… but she had to take her in doses. Her mother was a teacher. Not one of those fun 'Gosh Mrs. Clarkson is Pretty Awesome' kind of teachers, but one of those, 'Oh CRAP, I got Mrs. Clarkson' kind of teachers. She was strict. Even as a 6th grade Social Studies teacher. That was probably why she hung around her dad more. Going out to the farm, fishing, or even hunting was better than hearing her mother nag about why her shirt was so tight, or why she was failing Geometry, or why she was chewing like a cow grazing out in the field. Dad only mouthed about the guys she dated. She couldn't take another Christmas sitting at the table, listening to how great Francine was doing with her new husband and her new career as a Registered Vet Tech. From what she heard now, Francine was pregnant and they were moving into their brand new house about 15 miles down the road. Her brother was clean and sober for 4 years running and was now with some art student in Boston. She got a letter or two from him telling her how well she was doing and what great things he had planned for the future. Penny slammed the back of her foot into the washing machine and cursed… everyone was getting married and having a great little life all while she was still stuck having to wear that horrid mustard top. She grabbed the side of her head and groaned away the depression that was trying to overrun her.

She thought about Leonard and the way she rejected his proposal. The heartache started as she remembered his face. He was hurt, but as he looked her in the eyes with an almost broken expression of pain, he asked softly, "Will you ever love me the way I love you?" She cried right there and shook her head while whispering, "I can't." He showed no emotion… He just stepped forward and kissed her on the cheek then walked out of her apartment… out of her life… it was everything she feared in a breakup. She lost a friend… felt like she lost a lot more than that. Amy and Bernadette didn't talk a lot 'TOWARDS' her when they hung out… just talked about random things on the television. Penny remembered sitting back with her glass of wine and just watching the two. Feeling as though she wasn't even there. She was jealous… She was actually jealous of the two women. When Penny had first met them, they were both awkward and lonely and almost like caterpillars just out of their cocoon. Now… they are beautiful creatures in flight. Fluttering around their flowers… Penny's jealousy sometimes growled evil things in her ear. _I made you what you are. You both should be thanking me for everything you have._ But Penny would just down the last of the wine in her glass and just smile when the girls looked over at her.

The dryer's horn honked in the middle of her thoughts and jolted her back. She hopped off the machine to the dryer and started to pull out an article of clothing at a time and folding it and throwing it in the basket below. She sighed at her uniforms and really dreaded working the whole day tomorrow, but her paycheck was going to be very sweet. She would dress in her cute little Santa hat and rack up the tips, too. It was only 4:49pm so she had plenty of time to make some eggnog and… "Oh, crap on a cracker, I forgot about the 'Coopers'. I got eleven minutes…" She sighed again and wondered what a Cooper-Family Christmas entailed. She smiled thinking about the whole family singing Christmas Carols around a piano with Sheldon behind them with his arms crossed with a really grumpy face, barking out lyrics. Poor Sheldon. Penny laughed at the image in her head and finally finished folding her clothes. She had two minutes to spare to get up the stairs, put the laundry basket on the bed and over to 4A just in the nick of time.

* * *

Penny trotted up the stairs and finally got to the fourth floor. From the last few steps, she could hear a lot of voices coming from 4A. When she got to the top, she stared at the door for a few seconds, then turned her head towards her door and as she reached it and was about to grab the doorknob, she couldn't help but pause and take a step back then look up the stairs that led to the fifth floor. There was a girl sitting on the stairs, no more than 12 years old, texting away on her phone. She noticed Penny staring at her so she put away her phone and jogged down the remaining stairs. The little girl smiled and spoke with a slight Texan drawl, but not enough to make it comical, "Hi. You must be Penny. I'm Alexis. I'm Sheldon's niece. My dad's his brother." She was a cute little girl. Her hair was long and dark. She had freckles cascading all over her face. She had clear braces and the prettiest blue eyes Penny had ever seen. Penny grinned, "Hey Alexis… wha'cha doing out here?"

Penny opened her door and the little girl followed, "In this family, you learn to take the allotted breaks you're given."

Penny turned to look at the little girl with both shock and amusement, "Tell me about it."

Alexis looked around, but didn't have the cocky look or cringing face that her Uncle usually had. Her face was more… amazed. Her little voice came again as Penny moved towards her bedroom, "You haven't met my mother or my father yet. They…" Alexis moved to Penny's coffee table and picked up a half made Penny Blossom before putting it down slowly and smiling then finishing her sentence, "…they are… as grandma would put it… difficult."

Penny came back into the living room and watched the little girl. She walked like she was in a Winter Wonderland. She finally looked over at Penny and gave a little giggle before speaking again, "I've heard a lot about you, Ms. Penny. Memaw lets me read some of Uncle Sheldon's letters. It's almost like I know you personally."

Penny watched as the girl blushed a little. Penny had to admit… she felt almost like a celebrity. She also hoped that Sheldon didn't put any of the 'raunchier' details in his letters… and that made Penny blush a little as she looked at the girl. Penny shook her head and grinned as she looked at the open door, "Your Uncle is something. Oh boy… he is SOME thing. I do miss him. I don't see him as much as I used to. Life… it can be a pain sometimes."

Alexis looked back at the door, and then almost danced to close the distance, "Penny… Can I ask you something?"

Penny grinned down at the cute little girl, "Why of course, Alexis. Ask away."

Alexis blushed again and stared down at her feet before saying something that Penny didn't quite hear.

Penny leaned in, "What was that, Sweetie?"

Alexis didn't move from her position and said it louder, "What is it like to kiss a boy?"

Penny watched the girl reach into her pocket to touch her phone and smiled, "Ah… You got yourself a boy, don't cha?"

Alexis blushed and nodded, "His name is David. He's like my best friend. He's annoying and way too smart, but… he makes me smile."

Penny pursed her lips and nodded, "That's the best ones… I'll tell you this… my first kiss was at the county fair. I had cotton candy stuck on my lips and my best friend used his lips to get it off. I swore it was like Lady and the Tramp, but with cotton candy instead of spaghetti."

Alexis giggled a little and it made Penny smile, "Kisses are all different. There is not one that is the same. That's what makes them so magical."

Alexis sighed a little, "I hope he tries to kiss me."

Penny put her hands on her hips and snorted, "A girl like you… he better!" Penny gave her a wink and Alexis smiled brightly then her face went serious. She looked back at the open door again then spoke softly, "Penny… have you… have you and my Uncle… kissed?"

Penny's eyes darted to the door then back to the girl. She kissed Sheldon on the nose and cheeks, but… that really didn't count. Penny shook her head, "Nope." She stressed the 'P' with a popping sound.

Alexis's eyes were wide as if Penny just informed her that Santa didn't exist then she looked sad, "My dad says that Uncle Sheldon can never know love because his heart is so used to the loneliness. Auntie Missy says that Amy ignites Uncle Sheldon's mind… but not his heart. Memaw told me that the letters Uncle Sheldon sent are 'passionately written' and that a person who writes with such vigor about one person can only mean they hold a spot in ones heart. She was talking about YOU. You're Uncle Sheldon's 'Prince Charming'. Only your kiss can break his curse."

Penny swallowed and looked down at the girl. She was now unbelievably uncomfortable, "Oh, Sweetie… Amy is perfect for him. I'm just someone who knows his 'Special Song'. Amy is changing him… breaking him from his germaphobic shell… I'm just the waitress that gets his orders right."

Alexis looked like Puss in Boots doing the 'Cute Kitty' big eye thing and Penny shook her head, "I'm no Prince… I'm a damsel in distress, too… Sorry, Sweetie. Amy is the only knight in shining armor your Uncle needs."

The girl shook her head and narrowed her eyes, "That's not true! He needs you... and I'm going to prove it to you!" She bolted out of the apartment and into Sheldon's and left Penny staring after her, confused and worried. She gulped and sighed.

* * *

Penny had to smile at the twelve year old's romantic upbringing, but the only thing that she ever wanted to do to Sheldon was wring his little neck. I mean, he HAD his moments where his humanity made her want to peck him on the cheek, but his arrogance always popped his ugly little head and she was back to the 'wanting to choke him' moment. As she moved to 4A, she could hear loud laughing and people merrily talking loudly. Penny almost felt a warmth spread throughout her chest. It was the sound of a happy family that she usually only watched on TV and it made her envious. Her family would be sitting around a table, arguing. The thought made her sad and her head drooped a little. She took in a few more deep breaths before reaching up and giving the door a little knock. Without waiting, she entered like she always did and froze at the sight. No one had heard her knocks or noticed she had entered.

She saw Sheldon sitting in his spot, looking like that Grumpy kitty on the internet, with his arms crossed and eyeballing everyone in the room. A thick, burly man sat at the other end of the couch and was talking with a deep, meaty voice as he told a story to Missy, who was sitting beside Sheldon. Missy was staring at the bigger man and laughing. There was a little boy running around the entire living room with an older boy playing along with him. The youngest had an airplane and pretending it was flying, while the older boy had two dinosaur toys up the air pretending to chase the airplane. She saw Alexis being put down from being held up (right at the hallway's entrance that led to the boy's bedrooms) by a very skinny man with a lot of piercings and tattoos. In the kitchen (staring very disapprovingly at said man) were Mary and a husky woman with dark hair and a very dangerous looking face. Penny swallowed and wondered if she should just sneak back out and run for her life… but she had waited too late.

"Penny dear! There you are! Come in, Come in." Mary floated out of the kitchen, from behind the couch, and to the front door with the speed that Sheldon's 'Flash' guy would've been jealous of. Mary shut the door behind her and led Penny with a push of her back. Mary stared at Sheldon, "Shelly… aren't you gonna introduce your friend to your family."

Sheldon stood up, "Yes… Penny… this is George Junior, my older brother…" He gestured to the big, thick man with a little dark stubble and the most piercing blue eyes that even Sheldon couldn't compete with. The man smiled and stood up and threw his hand out and spoke with a moderately drenched Texan accent, "A pleasure to meet you, finally. I've heard a LOT about you. The letters don't do you quite the justice, pretty lady." Penny actually blushed. This man COULDN'T be related to Sheldon. He was charming, muscular, and didn't mind touching. There was a sound of someone clearing their throat and George gave a very beautiful smile then pointed to the scary lady in the kitchen, "That there is my wife, Kristen. Those two boys are Eric and Billy. Eric's my older, 14, and Billy is my youngest, 7. I believe you already met my daughter, Alexis. Penny smiled as the girl waved beside the tattooed man.

Missy jumped up off the couch and they hugged. Missy was another one she couldn't believe was related to Sheldon, but she got along with her like they had known each other all their lives. Sheldon's voice cleared the apartment, "I do believe mom asked that _**I**_ introduce Penny to you all. What are we if we don't follow simple rules?"

Missy rolled her eyes, "Oh Shelly, lighten up." George moved to the kitchen where he was glared at as Missy wrapped her arm around Penny's shoulder and pointed to the pierced and tattooed man talking with Alexis, "That there is Calvin. He's my boyfriend." Missy looks out and Penny shoots her eyes to where hers are staring. They both watch Mary walk towards the kitchen, making sure to give Calvin a very wicked look and Missy speaks again, very softly, "Momma don't like him, but he is a fantastic guy. He treats me right, holds my hair back with I'm throwing up, kisses me in all the right places, and… best of all… pisses off my family."

Penny chuckled at that. She watches as Calvin and Alexis try to do a complicated handshake as the two boys go over and join them. Mary and Kristen none too happy while George just grins, "He seems to be good with kids…"

Missy shakes her head, "Naw… that's just Alexis. The girl is like the people whisperer. She's got her father's bursting personality, my figure, and Shelly's big ol' brain. The girl is smart as a whip."

Penny had to smile at that. She looked over at Sheldon, still standing in the spot just in front of his spot looking a little uncomfortable. Missy unwrapped her arm and moved towards her boyfriend. Penny went to the couch and sat down on the cushion beside Sheldon's spot. Sheldon looked down at her and she could almost see the tension fly off him as he sat down.

* * *

The family didn't do much but talk in the kitchen or come into the living room to chat with Penny and Sheldon. They watched Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, a Christmas story, and Elf (George Junior's choice and one of Penny's favorites). It was about 10pm when everyone was sitting around the island in the kitchen, but Sheldon and Penny just sat in a comfortable silence. Billy was curled into the chair near Sheldon's spot, asleep. Alexis was leaning against Penny, also asleep, but the youngest boy was running with his airplane, still. The boy slipped through the little space between Penny's legs and the table. He stood in between them both and smiled. Sheldon scowled, but Penny smiled and leaned forward, "Hiya Eric… I'm Penny… your Uncle's friend. I really like your airplane."

The little boy gave a gorgeous, snaggle-toothed grin and gave a very cute "Thank you" before moving on with the airplane in the air. She looked over at Sheldon who was staring at her with his 'intrigued' and 'baffled' look. She raised her brows and gave him a grin, but just played coy and looked away then looked down at his watch and groaned. He moved to where he was in front of the TV and cleared his throat and spoke loud and clear, "I do apologize, but it is time for my allotted time for sleep and since it seems that my mother will be taking my bed; this couch is now my bedroom, so, if you would please gather all your belongings, put things back where you found them, and clean up your messes; you can then exit my apartment and drive or walk to your respectable housing for the night."

Penny rolled her eyes and saw that he had woken Alexis and Billy. Both siblings yawned and wiped their eyes as their parents nodded in agreement about it being late. Mary collected the cups and other dishes that were used throughout the night and washed them off then placed them in the dishwasher. Sheldon moved towards the hallway heading back to the rooms, but was stopped by George Junior, "Goodnight, Bro. We'll call and tell you what 'Santa' brought the kids." He brought his brother in for a bear hug before he could start spitting out how that was complete nonsense.

As Missy grabbed her brother up for a hug, Alexis jumped up off the couch and grabbed Penny's hand, "C'mon Penny, you gotta say goodnight to my papa!"

Penny, wide eyed, got dragged to where Sheldon and Missy were standing and shook her head as she reached out towards George Junior, "It was so nice meeting you."

The big man gave a gator's grin and bypassed the outreached hand and pulled her into a hug, "Take care of my brother, Ms. Penny. He needs all the help he can get."

She pulled out of the hug, "You couldn't leave him in better hands." She winked and he nodded with a grin. Missy gave Penny a big hug as Sheldon stood beside them, looking out of place as Calvin tried to shake his hand. Missy moved on to her big brother as Calvin gave Penny a sharp nod. She gave him a wink and a smile in return.

Alexis pushed Penny over a little more before hopping off the little step, spinning swiftly and pointing to the couple. Penny and Sheldon were looking at her strangely before the little girl sung out, "Mistletoe, Mistletoe!"

Penny looked up, and sure enough, hanging down from a small piece of string… was mistletoe. Mary came out of the kitchen and smiled, "Well, traditions say that a couple who meet under the mistletoe must share a kiss. We mustn't break tradition." Penny watched as Mary gave a sly smile to Alexis. That little vixen set this up. It didn't matter, though. Sheldon would NEVER do anything to endanger his immune system. She turned to face him and gave him a patented 'So, Yeah' face. Sheldon glared up at the small plant then towards his mother, "This… 'mistletoe'… is nothing more than an obligate hemi-parasitic plant. It grows by attaching to and penetrating branches of a tree or shrub from within and absorbs all the nutrients it needs to sustain its life. It was the Christians who started this vile tradition of kissing under this… _Phoradendron_… by the looks of the rounded leaves…"

Penny looked out at his family as he continued to explain the difference of all the plants of the Viscaceae family. Missy rolled her and shook her head while looking at her boyfriend (who bent down and kissed her cheek with a smile). George and Kristen finished gathering up their things while whispering to the boys to get their stuff. Mary (who pursed her lips at 'Christians' and 'vile' in the same sentence) put her hand on her hips as he son continued to babble. Then she looked at Alexis… the little girl was staring at Sheldon with hopeful eyes. She turned those blue, bad boys, towards Penny and gave her a smile… a knowing smile… a cocky smile that she must've learned from ol' Uncle Sheldon. With him still running his mouth, Penny squared back up to the man (now in full 'I'm Smarter Than You All' mode) and grabbed the font of his top layer of shirts with both hands and pulled him towards her and captured the last few words he was trying to say with her mouth overlapping his. It was a short, chaste, but effective little taste of sugary magic. A spell that shut Sheldon up AND made Penny's heart finally beat again after the break-up. Their eyes met and something stirred… and she was pretty sure it wasn't a mouse. Sheldon's jaw was slack and it hung open as he took a very awkward step back just as George gave a very Texan 'Yeehaw' kind of noise. They both snapped their eyes away from one another and looked out at the family. Every one of them was smiling with a Cheshire grin and it made them both blush furiously.

Sheldon, quietly, said his goodnights with an extenuated head bow and almost ran down the hallway to his room. Missy and Calvin went out the door first after another round of goodnights. George picked up Eric and kissed his mother's cheek before smiling over at Penny, "Good night, Penny. Merry Christmas."

Penny, shaking herself out of the daze, waves to the big man, "Merry Christmas, George Junior… Kristen." The evil woman smiled at her and it made Penny smile. She was quite beautiful when she wasn't snarling. Alexis glomped and took a hold of Penny's waist in a big hug that seemed to make the family look surprised and pleased. Penny bent down and hugged her properly. Alexis whispered very low, "Now you can live happily ever after." Penny pulled away from the extreme romantic with a fake smile, "Merry Christmas, Alexis! You let me know what Santa brings you… ok?" Alexis nods with a smile and waves as she jogs to her grandmother and gets snuggled up by her. Penny watches as the big family leaves… leaving Penny in the presence of the mother of whom she just kissed… and started to feel rather nervous.

* * *

Mary shut the door and looked over at Penny, "Dear, be a doll and help me clean up a bit."

Penny swallowed and nodded, "Sure, Mrs. Cooper."

Mary shook her head, "Oh, call me Mary… so, how're you and Leonard these days?"

Penny stopped mid bend to grab some plates off the table near the couch, then finished picking up the plates, "I haven't seen Leonard since we broke up."

She heard Mary tut, "I'm so sorry, hun. He wasn't cheatin' on you, was he? That boy's eyes were as loose as a magician's sleeve."

Penny gathered all the plates and cups and met her in the kitchen, "No, ma'am, he wasn't cheating on me… I just… I just said 'No' way too many times."

Mary took the plates and cups from her and scrubbed them individually before placing them in the dishwasher, "That's a shame. You two were very cute together. Shelly couldn't stop talkin' about the two of you. Matter fact, that's all my boy talked about. You and Leonard. Never heard a single thing about how him and Amy were doin'. My goodness… for the longest time… I thought it was you who was gonna be with my boy. Darn proud of it too… you put my boy in his place better than I ever could." Mary laughed as she filled the dishwasher with detergent and looked over at Penny. Penny was now a little too uncomfortable and Mary just smiled. Penny was glad that Sheldon appeared out from around the hallway (looking overly confused as he stared from her to his mother). Mary patted Penny's cheek and walked towards her son and kissed his cheek, "I'mma go take a shower. Good night Penny. I shall see you after your shift, tomorrow. Shelly… be a gentleman and walk Penny over to her apartment." Without even looking back, she made her way down the hall, leaving both her and Sheldon nervously looking at one another.

* * *

They crossed the hall slowly… awkwardly. Penny really didn't think the whole 'aftermath' part of kissing him. He seemed in a daze, again as he stared down at the floor as they walked. Penny got to her unlocked door and smiled up at the man, "Well, thanks for walking me to my door, Moonpie. Goodnight."

She waited for the whole 'Moonpie, Memaw' thing, but instead she looked up to find him still in a bit of a fog. He finally got out of it as she reached for the handle and said her name pretty loudly and freaked her out a bit. She pressed her back against the door and he cleared his throat and calmed his voice back down, "Penny… I really do hope you'll consider spending Satur… Christmas with… my family and myself."

She smiled, "I'd be happy to spend Christmas with you." She moved forward, placing a hand on his shoulder for support, and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him the cheek, but his sudden curiosity of what she was doing made him turn his head and she kissed him on the side of the mouth. She was lowering down and about to explain she was trying to kiss him on the cheek when the suddenness of Sheldon Cooper's lips on hers made her fall back and hit her back on her door. His hands flattened against the wood on either side of her head. This kiss was full of urgent evaluation… nothing short of a scientist trying to determine his hypothesis… but MAN were her hormones loving it. She wanted to wrap her arms around him… drag him into her bedroom… rip his pretty little robe off and ravish him like a lamb surrounded by wolves… but she did something that even shocked her… she pulled out of the kiss and pushed him off gently. They were both a little out of breath as their gazes collided. She could see the fear, excitement, and disappointment running rabid in his eyes and gave him a very sloppy smile, "I'm sorry, Sweetie, you need your REM cycle, I need my beauty rest, and you have a girlfriend. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Sheldon shook out of whatever male spirit he had conjured up and stepped backwards back into the real-Sheldon, "Yes. Tomorrow. Please be showered and refreshed when you come over. Sleep well, Penny."

She could tell he was embarrassed so she smiled the brightest she could, "You are one hell of a kisser, Sheldon Cooper. Keep that up and I'll have to slap Amy with a leather glove and initiate a duel."

She meant it as a joke, but Sheldon went rigid. Penny was about to say she was kidding, but Sheldon spoke first, "Yes, well, every kiss requires more than a simple proximity, a certain amount of pressure upon the lips, and a fair angle of the neck to increase pleasure and depth… all of which can be calculated with simple physics. You see, kissing is a science, Penny."

Penny smiled up at him and decided to tease him more, "So, what you're saying is, you liked 'Sciencing' me? You liked 'Sciencing' me, a LOT."

Sheldon scowled at the term and was about to say something all long winded and what not before Penny put her finger on his lip, "I liked it, too." She waited a few heartbeats and let her finger slide down his lips and off his chin then moved to open her door and into her apartment. Before she closed the door, she peaked around it and smiled, "Happy Saturnalia, Sheldon."

Sheldon gave a grin, "And to you, as well."


End file.
